New Year! This is a chance to reflect on what we did great last year, what we hope to do better this year and just give a little THANK YOU to all of the people who made it possible. Take a deep breath, and either say it out loud, in your head or post it on social media, but give a little speech to those who were there for you and appreciate this so called life. Because no matter how hard it may be, there is someone out there who wishes they had your life.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of my family and friends for making 2017 a great year. I’ve had some ups and down but with the right people in my life, I am grateful more then ever. Most importantly I am so thankful for my husband and kids. They are what keeps me going every day. They are my motivation and inspiration. With that, I will go right into my topic for today: why I refuse to raise ungrateful and entitled brats.
So the holidays are over. Phew! So much fun with events and planning, shopping, sharing, giving back and receiving gifts. Love it all. But what I do not love is the constant pressure that kids “have to have” it all. No they do not.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all about spoiling my kids. But there is a time and place for everything. If you, as a parent, feel like your kid/s should have the latest and greatest toys, gadgets, etc….so be it. That is your parenting style and kudos to you. But this is mine and I believe less is more.
My kids watch the same YouTube channels and toy reviews as the rest of the world. They see all kinds of commercials on TV for that NEW toy or gadget. They go with us to the stores on regular basis and browse the toy isles. On most occasions they are allowed to pick a toy [a small toy] if they behave. But no MA’AM they are not rewarded for bad behavior or tantrums. From the time they were babies, we instilled in them the importance of earning things and appreciating toys and gadgets. Most of the time they will get exactly what they want, it just might not be when they want it. They need to know that just because you ask for it, does not mean it shows up in your hands immediately. We wait, we see, we earn, we accept and appreciate what we receive. What do we get out of making them wait? Respect. Appreciation. Surprise effect. THANK YOUs!
My kids have yet to throw a tantrum at the store because I said NO. Because they know when Mommy says “not this time, but maybe next time” that I mean it. When Mommy says “your attitude did not earn that toy” they know exactly what I mean and we try to fix that. When we say “do you rather have that or take that class you wanted” we take into consideration things that we want vs what we need, or what is more important. When Daddy says “ask Mommy” LOL – they know this needs additional approval because we may not need that. But again, they eventually get most of what they want. Just in a manner that makes them appreciate it more and not be ungrateful little brats. What I am also hoping to teach them with my parenting style is that life is not all about impulses and instant gratifications. That we have to live within our means and prioritize. Something that I learned the hard way in my 20s!
I believe there is a direct correlation between throwing everything at your kids and raising some mean, entitled future generations. I have seen this personally and it is not pretty. Some of these kids are absolute a-holes to their parents, teachers, family and friends. It is not something to brag about or be proud of.
Don’t get me wrong, my kids are no angels. They have their moments. We are not perfect parents. I have lost my voice before because I had to scream at them all day to stop bickering and fighting. But I will be damned if they don’t know how to be decent human beings to their friends, elders, and especially my husband and I. If that means taking away toys, not purchasing the latest and the greatest video system, being the only kids without a cell phone or those new kicks or clothes – SO BE IT! They are healthy, they are fed, they have a roof over their heads, they have stylish and clean clothes/ shoes and they get to see the world every chance we get!
But most importantly they have parents, family and friends who love them and love being around them. That means more to me than any toy or gadget.