Hear me out? What if, perimenopause is women’s midlife crisis?
Just think about it.
Midlife crisis is described as a period of intense emotional, psychological, and behavioral change driven by an awareness of aging, mortality, and unfulfilled goals (The Timothy Center). That sounds pretty much what I am going through right now as a 44 year old woman.
The more I think and read about it, the more I compare the two = the more sense it makes to me.
I am not a medical professional, these are just my opinions. Please consult your doctor for any questions you may have regarding this subject!
Let’s break it down further.
The Biological Piece: Perimenopause
Perimenopause is the transitional phase before menopause when hormones, especially estrogen and progesterone, fluctuate unpredictably.
These fluctuations can affect:
- Mood (anxiety, irritability, sadness)
- Sleep Motivation
- Brain fog
- Libido
- Tolerance levels (for people, noise, BS 😅)
- Sense of identity
Estrogen in particular impacts serotonin and dopamine: the same chemicals involved in mood stability and reward. When estrogen dips, things can feel heavier, more urgent, more existential.
So biologically, my nervous system is literally recalibrating.
The Psychological Piece: Midlife Crisis
A midlife crisis is often described as:
- Heightened awareness of aging
- Mortality thoughts
- Questioning life choices
- Reevaluating relationships
- Wanting more meaning
- Regret or urgency about time
Now here’s the overlap…
Why They Feel the Same
Perimenopause hits right at the same time that:
- Kids are becoming independent (I am in this stage with teens)
- Careers plateau or peak Parents age
- Starting to think in terms of “chapters” instead of “someday”
So what looks like a “midlife crisis” may actually be:
🧠 Hormones amplifying introspection
❤️ A neurological shift increasing emotional intensity
⏳ A developmental stage pushing identity reevaluation
🔥 A tolerance reset for what you will and won’t accept anymore
It’s not necessarily a crisis. It may be a neurological + psychological identity update.
The Reframe
Instead of:
“I’m having a midlife crisis.”
What if it’s:
“My brain and body are transitioning, and it’s forcing me to confront what’s aligned and what isn’t.”
That urgency? That restlessness? That “Is this it?” feeling? It can feel destabilizing… but it can also be clarifying.
Why It Feels So Intense at 44
Maybe I am at a convergence point:
- Hormonal fluctuation
- Teen motherhood stage shift
- Increased self-awareness
- Cultural messaging about youth Social media comparison
- A clearer understanding that time is finite
That’s a powerful psychological cocktail.
The Big Question
Midlife crisis is often framed as impulsive behavior. Perimenopause is often framed as physical symptoms. But what if what many women experience is actually:
- A midlife awakening.
- Less tolerance.
- More clarity.
- More truth.
- More “I don’t have time for what drains me.”
That’s not breakdown energy. That’s refinement energy.
So, a short note to myself and others:
You’re not crazy.
You’re not dramatic.
And you’re definitely not alone in this stage.
Until next time, check out more about women and aging here.
X, Dijana
