Stop Being the ‘copy/ paste’ Parents

stop the unhealthy patterns hazeleyesmom

You are most likely a parent if you are reading this and therefore, I don’t have to remind you that parenting is hard. Motherhood is overwhelming. Fatherhood is challenging. Keeping up with your kids emotions and wellbeing is a full time job on it’s own. But add the social pressures and round-the-clock activities, fundraisers, parties and more to the mix – it’s enough to make you scream.

Not every parent feels like screaming though. Some parents thrive in those situations. They love the fast paced lifestyle. The 4-5 day after school activities schedule. The late night parties on Thursday nights. But that doesn’t always mean the kids do too.

grayscale photography of crying woman
Photo by Kat Smith on

We often get sucked into this copy and paste culture. Where families are like dominos. Falling one after another in competition but also in fear of missing out. Meanwhile the kids are struggling and have no say.

close up shot of a domino and hand
Photo by cottonbro on

Which is what brings me to this topic today: Please, stop being the ‘copy/ paste’ parents!

Don’t worry about how many festivities your friends attend – worry about the traditions you make with your family.

Don’t worry about the clubs your neighbors participate in – focus on creating memories with your crew.

Don’t waste your time keeping up with what the kids from school are doing – ask your kids what they want and like to do.

Stop pressuring your kids to fit in by signing them up for every after school activity – spend some time with them alone.

Skip a party or two – have a game night or go for a walk alone. Just your family. Talk to each other.

young boys running while playing football
Photo by Kampus Production on

Please don’t get me wrong, I am also not an expert. These are just observations from a mom who has two kids and I see it first hand.

It’s wonderful to have friends. It’s beautiful to be part of groups. It’s even better when kids thrive and flourish in activities. They need social interactions and positive experiences. But when you throw so much at them, all of the time, just because ‘everyone is doing it‘ – kids can miss out on the chance to figure out who they are on their own. They don’t know how to handle boredom and are in constant need for stimulation. Which can affect their well being.

This persistent pressure for socializing is demanding and stressful for kids and families. They aren’t creating any real friendships or connections. We aren’t spending time with each other in positive ways. Kids are constantly tired, faking being happy, complaining to their friends, falling asleep in class and generally overwhelmed. All while spending less and less time with their families and true friends.

looking for a friend bear
Photo by Marina Shatskikh on

As parents, we obviously want to motivate them and inspire them but we can’t mold them into unrealistic versions of children we want them to be. They have personalities and likes/ dislikes on their own and deserve to be heard.

If we never allow our kids to say no to festivities, to make a choice on activities and friendships, to skip that play date because it’s not fun or comfortable, what are we really teaching them here? Something that can eventually can lead to resentment or much worse. It becomes easy and almost second nature to accept feeling uncomfortable in situations and stay there, because “mom/ dad said I have to”.

man people woman girl
Photo by Norma Mortenson on

While social and athletic experiences have their own benefits and each kid and family is different, please look for a balance. One that gives your family and your children enough time to rest and be productive in other areas too. But also form meaningful friendships and connections.

Also, you may find my old post about Creating Meaningful Bonds with your kids interesting as well.

Until next time, slow down and listen to your kids.

x, Dijana

copy paste parenting

Another wonderful article to check out: Pandemic ‘silver lining’: How slashing over-scheduling may be saving kids’ life skills.

About Author

Here is to honest motherhood, fun family adventures and parenting challenges. I can be sassy, moody and sarcastic but all with good intentions. Stick around and let's have fun together.

x, Dijana

(6) Comments

  1. Katrina says:

    Perfectly said!!! Things have changed sooo much and it adds soo much stress to our plates!

    1. Unnecessary stress. As if we don’t have enough to worry about

  2. Aida V says:

    What a great subject! I agree, we try too often to keep up with others. At the end, we are exhausted and noone benefits from it. We have to know when it’s okay to just take things slow. Thank you for bringing this up and reminding us to enjoy the simple things.

    1. Yes. Take it slow. It’s not a race. Thanks for stopping by ♡

  3. Amina Cook says:

    Very well said! I don’t think that social media helps any… Sometimes I feel like in advertently you don’t even know you are mimicking some thing that you saw on a post or saw somebody doing. Subconsciously we have started doing things that we don’t even realize we are doing. You said it very well in this post ask your kids- talk to your kids- be with your kids!! More of this!!!!

    1. I couldn’t agree more. We are so desperate to fit in, esp the kids, and sometimes we subconsciously do it. So right ♡ Thanks for reading and your feedback

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

You have successfully subscribed to the newsletter! Thank you.

There was an error while trying to send your request. Please try again.

life thru my hazel eyes will use the information you provide on this form to be in touch with you and to provide updates and marketing.
%d bloggers like this: