Being Present With Your Children

Note to myself:

It’s that time of the year where PRESENTS rule households. They have a chokehold on givers and receivers alike. Which is why it’s extremely important to remind myself that being present is crucial.

These little humans that I love so much, may not understand the difference now but it is my responsibility to make it known and put value on it. I think I do a good job of making individual time with each kid. But I really have to do a better job about carving out intentional time with my kids. Even when it feels like a struggle or just another chore, it has to be done. It does seem nearly impossible some days, especially with my never ending to-do lists and activities.

There are times when we watch a family movie together but the movie is so boring, that I find myself picking up my phone. Ordering groceries, planning birthdays or just scrolling social media. That is not intentional time with my kids.

At times, they will try to tell me a story and I just can’t focus because my mind is racing 500 miles per hour thinking of millions of things that I should be doing or cleaning. That is not intentional time with my kids.

I don’t know how this is affecting them but I know that I struggle with balancing life + kids and I want to be better. I want to be present not perfect.

I love dating my kids.

Now, don’t get all crazy, it’s not what you think. I just feel like the most valuable time I can give them has to be outside of my house.

I can play games with them, organize toys with each of them, watch a show and/ or build a gingerbread house with them but there are so many distractions at home. Distractions that won’t let me be 100% present. I can’t focus on them individually or fully. And for that, I prefer to pick activities outside of the house. Because when I am out doing activities with them, I feel better and they are more engaged as well.

Are there times when none of us are really present, absolutely. But being out forces me to focus on that day/ activity only and that way I feels more present.

But it’s also a matter of sticking to these plans. I go in every month with pure intentions to do better and be better and life always gets in the way. Finances get in the way. Because let’s be real, being outside of the house, with your kids, almost always costs money. Which requires me to be very creative too.

So for the new year I will continue to have goals and be persistent with making each interaction more meaningful and intentional.

I will also ask each of my kids to make a list of about 5-6 things they want to do. Things that make them happy and then I will add a few activities or events of my own and based on that, I can plan a monthly date with each of them. If that means going for a walk together, working out together, picking out a new book, going for a drive to talk…whatever that may look like, I will do it with more intention and presence.

This is a promise to myself and my kiddos. Have a wonderful holiday season friends and until next time, be there for each other and check out my list for keeping kids engaged on a budget.

x, Dijana